Thankfulness

Yesterday we celebrated another Thanksgiving.  Just five days prior I celebrated my 12th wedding anniversary.  When I look at how things have changed and rearranged and changed again, I can't help but to be thankful for everything that has happened to me.

When my husband and I first married, we were two struggling grad school students.  Within a year we were on our way to our journey in parenthood. Several years later, we added to that journey.  In between, we had career changes, lost several family members, witnessed serious illness in close family members, and generally experienced life.

Fast forward several more years.  Add in temporary unemployment, a relocation, growing children, and new beginnings.

Enter this year.  From frustrations to triumphs, all things have made me realize how fortunate I am and how thankful I should be:
 
My family is healthy. 
My husband and I are both employed. 
We have been given a chance to positively impact children outside of our family, church, and my job as a teacher. 
My husband has embraced his faith more than ever before and the changes in him have made positive things occur in our household.  His faith has impacted my faith and trickled to the children.
We have friends who love us unconditionally, and in turn, we feel the same about them.

There is nothing else I need right now.

I am simply thankful.

Promises

Promise: a sign that gives reason for expecting success.

I've been thinking about God's promises lately.  I have been in this place where I am not sure that I want to continue teaching.  Don't get me wrong; I love being with the children and teaching and learning right along with them.  I've been doing this for 10 years now. 

I'm not sure I want to deal with all of the bureaucratic changes that keep occurring in the field of education.  Furthermore, I am looking at my own two children and seeing the effects that some of these changes have had on them.  Not that my children are suffering academically, but I feel that they could be challenged more, that they need to be able to explore more, that they need to be able to grow into their own academically.  Both of my children are considered to be above grade level, and both of them have been part of gifted enrichment programs at their schools. 

But what does that mean, exactly?  Working in two different districts, in two different states, has shown me the inconsistency between states regarding children's education.  Some of the things I used to teach my students in my former district are considered to be enrichment or even "gifted" in my current district.  When I teach my current class, I still teach them from some of the same standards and with some of the same practices I used in my former district.  I know my students are learning.  But more and more, I see us teachers being pushed to teach to the test, standards checklists for mastery being cut back, new programs that dumb down the curriculum further and further, and adjustments in old programs that aren't helping anyone.

I am concerned for my children's academics.

I have been kicking around the idea of homeschooling my children for several months now.  Actually, since last school year when I saw how much my oldest was beginning to struggle.  Looking at her curriculum and what she was doing each week just showed more of the same.  More test practice, more memorization, less applied thinking for higher-level concepts, and less of a focus on the basics (like learning how to take proper notes).

Did I say I was concerned for my children's academics?

After many discussions with my husband, who agrees with the idea, we decided to pray about it.  I really feel that I should be homeschooling my two.  During my search for confirmation, I came across the following:

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all--how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" (This while reading through a 'mom blog' on Thursday.)
Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." (This was in my morning devotional yesterday.) 
John 15:7 "If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you." (That was in this morning's sermon at church.) 

When God tried to make a point, He makes a point!  These verses are coupled with my pastor's series of sermons on being open and available to God in everything, including prayer and praise.

My desire to is to be able to work from home so I can homeschool my children and prepare them for their futures with God's guidance and direction.  In His grace, that will happen if it is in His will and I stay in His word.

I will stand on His promises.

Juggling Act

It's been a crazy week or so in my household.  I had a "Wha...?" moment with my new cell phone (See 'Day 20' post on 180 Days.)  I've gotten the diagnosis on my knee, and I've been keeping on top of my children's schoolwork and activities.  Busy!

Regarding the cell phone, trust me.  Read the post.  You will feel so much better about yourself.


My new phone.  Waaaaaay too much technology in such a small device.  Although it is light years above what I had before.  I won't even show the picture for that one.  It's too embarrassing. 

About the knee.  Good news: By grace, I don't need surgery.  Not-so-great news:  My doctor still doesn't know what's causing the inflammation in my knee.  So I'm to stay on the regimen of knee support, ice, elevation, and ibuprofen.  It's sort of nice because I am pretty much parked on the sofa with my feet up after work wearing a rather stylish (not!) ice pack from CVS called Peas.  (Only I feel unproductive and slobbish when I do that.  But hey, maybe God's trying to tell me to slow down a bit.) 

Anyhow, if my knee doesn't improve, I am to schedule physical therapy somewhere between balancing five plates on a pole on my forehead, juggling two dozen eggs in my hands, all while balancing on one foot (on my good leg) on a unicycle.  Have you got the visual?  That's how I feel lately.  My doctor is a really nice guy and all, but I don't want to have to schedule in physical therapy on top of everything else.  We'll see.

Oh yeah! My husband had an idea to send out an all-call for comments, questions, suggestions, and tips from you, my lovely readers.  So I'm letting it all hang out here.  Any comments for me?  Or burning questions as to how I (almost) stay sane? Any suggestions on anything?  Any sanity-saving tips?  Bring 'em on! 

How Did I Get Here, Anyway?

At some point when you're a child, you decide what you want to do when you grow up.  For me, I wanted to me a marine biologist (and actually went to college as a biology major), an archaeologist, or an environmental scientist (this long before being green was a way of life).  Nowhere in there was there a career dealing with teaching.  Not. A. Singular. Thought. 

I went to college and decided my sophomore year that I didn't want to be a scientist anymore (although I still love learning about the scientific world); there was no room for the creative side of me.  So I thought I'd fall back on my second love, writing.  I changed majors and became a student in my school's journalism program.  I loved my classes because I could write, and journalism has a scientific quality to it in that there are formulas for everything you do.  Style manuals to consult.  Methods to write all information as concisely as possible.   English rules learned in school.  Guidelines for proofreading and editing work to make it readable.  All while still being creative.  I was home.  I graduated with a degree in journalism and was ready to take on the world.  Sort of.

I knew I was going to graduate school, so I went back home after graduation and worked with the YMCA for a period of time before moving away to grad school.  I was a school-age (K-5) child care teacher in those hours before school begins and after school lets out.  During the school day I worked on site at the Y in the toddler room.  I loved being with the children and had fun.  But I was still on my way to grad school.

I moved to Baltimore to take courses in African history and earn my Master's degree in graduate school (where I met my husband).  My ultimate goal was to graduate with my degree and then go back to writing--this time in the form of textbooks.  As someone who grew up with parents who spent their childhoods and young adult lives during the Civil Rights era, I was one generation out of the change and turmoil that took place.  I wanted to write textbooks that added in accomplishments of African-Americans throughout history.  (I cannot tell you how frustrating it was growing up and being asked to do Black History reports for class, only to find that there was information for a handful of people: Martin Luther King, Jr., Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, and Frederick Douglass.  It was like my history began with slavery, took a hiatus, continued with Civil Rights, and ended.)  Taking the courses in grad school was really eye-opening.  From pre-colonial Africa to present-day current events, from continental Africa to the world, I could not believe there was so much wonderful information out there just waiting to  be shared! 

I finished at Morgan as a married woman with little bundle on the way.  I found a few jobs temping at writing agencies, but nothing substantial until a month or so after my daughter was born.  I found a job working for an investment company proofreading documents.  The pay was wonderful, the benefits were excellent, but the time spent in the office was hard.  Deadline, deadline, deadline.  Add in my daily commute (2+ hours each day), and I was miserable.  I was blessed that my husband was able to provide care for our daughter for nearly the first year of her life due to his work schedule, but that didn't last long.  He found a better-paying job and we had to put her in daycare.  Our provider was awesome--nurturing, organized, academically minded.  But even then there was a nagging depression in my spirit.  I hated not being able to see my daughter more than a few hours a day.  Something had to give.

Shortly before my daughter's second birthday, I had a long talk with God.  I asked Him what I needed to be doing.  And in my spirit, I heard one word: "Teach."  I waited for confirmation of this idea, and it came from three unlikely places.  But it came nonetheless.  So I applied for a job fair with the help and guidance of a friend who was teaching and was hired on the spot to teach in an urban school system.  Looking back, God had prepared me for the career He had in mind.  I helped my mom with the children who stayed with us from time to time as foster children.  I tutored K-2 students in my junior and senior years in high school.  I spent many hours babysitting.  I tutored in college.  I worked in the Y's program.  I was a parent.  Shortly after being hired, I quit my job at the investment company and spent several wonderful months with my daughter. 

My employment as a teacher was conditional on the fact that I needed to take courses and earn my teaching degree, as I didn't have one.  So the first two years of teaching involved learning everything needed to plan, organize, and discipline students along with quite a few graduate-level education courses through another college; courses needed to earn my certificate. 

In the layout of my courses, there was no student teaching.  I started classes shortly after the school year started.  Any first-year teacher knows how hard just getting "into the groove" is.  Add to that a toddler, a household to run, and a spouse who worked 60-70 hour weeks, and it was more like trial by fire.  A SERIOUS learning curve.  But by grace, I made it.  By the time my son arrived (during the spring of my second year of teaching), I had the same challenges listed above along with a newborn.  By grace, I finished all of my coursework (early!) the semester after having my son.  By grace, I earned tenure that same year.  By grace. BY.GRACE.

I stayed in the district a total of five years before moving to another state.  The experiences I had during those five years are the cogs that turn the wheel for this blog.  From dealing with students across learning abilities and styles to non-English speakers, from supplying ALL of your classroom needs out of your own pocket to deteriorating buildings, from the varied academic, social, and emotional needs of my students to the unconditional love of children, I've learned a LOT.  I plan to share more on some of the tools, tricks, and techniques I've learned in the future.

Hope you'll stick around for more of the story.